i am afraid to show you who i really am, because if i show you who i really am, you might not like it–and that’s all i got.

today, my world fell apart. today, i worked on my own.

the little spark of hope i had suddenly died.

i do not know whom to turn to anymore nor whom to trust.

it was when you were ready to open up that the world decides to close its doors on you.

i know it may sound a bit harsh and that there will always be hope. but, hey, let us be in touch with reality that everybody feels so down every now and then.

all i knew it started out perfectly fine for a summer morning. the weather excites some neurochemicals in the brain that would lead to some weather-related psychological effect. it was either that or something i felt that ruined the day.
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why is it that when you are ready to risk something you want to risk into that is when opportunities suddenly disappear.

did i take too long?

was it wrong for me to make sure i wouldnt do anything embarrassing?

was it wrong for me to make sure i wouldnt be hurt?
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well, with what happened today, i really was hurt. and it was not even my fault i was hurt.
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i do not know what to believe in.

nor, whom to believe in.

this was taken from my old blog. however, i feel the same today. such reminiscent thoughts clogged my mind. i am still this person who talks. right now, i might have more confidence. more self-esteem. but, still inside the shell.