the trigger

i had an awfully bad day yesterday.

i went to school without expecting from the day. i was my usual self – cheerful and positive.

i was given the news that i would be adding another year to my N-years of college education. i take full responsibility of what happened as it really is mine. i can blame everyone i want to blame, but i know, deep down inside, it was fully my fault.

i felt so crushed; although, i did not let others see that.

if there are things i am proud of, one of them is my ability to hide my feelings. i am such a very good person in acting what i want them to think i am feeling. if i wanted them to think i am happy, i can. you may say it is bad but trust me, it can be very helpful at times.

by dinner, i fully accepted the fact that i would be graduating with the lower batch. it was then that i was back to my normal – cheerful and happy – nature. we ate Italian and i had a blast. i have been craving for Italian for a month now.

if you don’t know, the student council election was held yesterday. i was really hoping that my friends would win it because they deserve to win it. but, the fact that an inexperienced person placed as one of the councilors. my friends only got booted out because of a measly 6 votes. how could this happen?

is politics really a test of how popularity? this from-nowhere candidate only won because of good looks and only that.

that triggered my feelings yesterday. it was easy for me to accept that i was delayed; but, not the loss of my friend. my being delayed was fair; but her loss was not.

i know that we should always move on. however, it also takes time. we cannot move on with a snap of a finger if what took its toll on us is very deep, indeed. there are things in life we could accept easily. and there would always be things that would stand in the way of our ideals, making them harder to accept.

it is bad to take revenge. but, there is nothing wrong with proving other people how unworthy they are.

i give you two sides of acceptance. ideally speaking, we should always move on and we are always told how easy it is. but, it really is not and there are things easier said than done. moving on would tell us what we prioritize in life. if i may say, yesterday, my friends was more important than my academics. i do not tell you to idolize me but i tell you to know your life’s priorities.

it is harder to accept the facts that taint our most prioritized things rather than those we don’t care of.


i realized that i had wrong priorities. the fact that it was easier to accept the delay proved me i was not being a good student after all. there is nothing wrong with looking after your friends, but, as we are students, we are expected to study since it is also for our benefit.


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