soul inventory

my organizer / planner / journal has this quarterly check-up pages. i decided to answer them now. [because i wanted to see what is going on]


1. How have you been doing?

I am honest to say that i have not been doing well. I know that i said that i wanted to change. however, i see only a minimal change in  me. i know that it is good that at least i’ve changed. but, this is not what i expected it to be. or am i just raising the bar high enough to make a change in me overnight? or maybe, i am just expecting too much of myself.


2. How’s your health?

I am proud to say that i am quite healthy. i had no major sickness. i only suffered normal colds because of the weather. however, if you were to ask about my mental health, i would say i am very exhausted. i have not been using my mind well. also, i do not control it very much. i am having bad thoughts about other people.


3. On a scale of 1-10, how stressed are you?

I am very stressed and i am rating it 7. i do not rate it 10 because there are times that i am enjoying what i am doing. there are also school work that i do enjoy. and, since i answered that i have not been using my mind well, that is when i feel stressed. i also feel stressed during exams because i am not ready to take it. it seems that i have been doing so many things, yet, there is nothing i get accomplished.


4. Goals Achieved

One of the goals i achieved is to become a more active member of my organization. i am an active member as it is but i feel that there is something that is lacking. but, that achievement seems to be useless.


5. Hate List

i hate myself for being blind, mute and deaf to my surroundings. i tend to isolate myself too much and i pick the events wherein i would talk about what i feel. and i hate myself for being to fake a smile or a frown. i hate myself for not letting others know what i truly feel.


6. Love List

i love the things that are happening to me at the moment. they might not seem to be the greatest experiences here on earth but at least they tell me that there is always time to change. there will always be a way to improve myself. and through them, i saw that i am improving. i saw that there are a lot more to improve. and,  i saw what there is to improve.



this quarterly check-up is very helpful. i am seeing a much more exciting year ahead of me.


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